Is it really there?

I used to be afraid of change.
For I thought it was equated with
losing something important in my life.

But then I’ve learned to embrace it,
live with it and accept the fact
that nothing lasts forever.

Through experiences, I’ve also learned
to let go of things that are beyond my control.

I can’t hold on to something that
seems totally subjective or undefined.

I can’t also hold on to someone who
doesn’t want to be held on to at all.

If it’s not meant to be, then I guess
it’s just not meant to be.

Starbucks.

It has been years since we’ve been introduced.
Thankfully, nothing has changed between us.

I share with you my success and happiness,
I still have no awkward moments with you.

Whenever I’m in need, upset and troubled,
You’re the one I can depend and count on.

You’re still my so-called life addiction;
My all-time favorite guilty pleasures.

Most of all, you’re my ever-reliable pal –
Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino.



ayesha
01.25.09

It's January 1st.

Intoxicating.

I keep going along this journey..
but not sure how far it’s already taking me.

I’ve got no plans to strike out in new direction,
for I don’t need a way to hasten things up [just yet].

No matter where the destination is,
I know the journey itself is valuable --

'Cause you have let me take you for a ride.

You have affected my reality.

Without the blues,
my life would have been less vibrant and colorful.

Without you,
my life would have been at least twice as less interesting.

And you know what,
I still have those moments when I wonder how my life would
have been completely different if I had never had
the chance to meet you.

But I also shudder away from even attempting
to imagine what my life would have been like.

Stupefied.

The first time he sees her smile,
He gets this sudden rush of ecstasy.

For it’s like a drug that
he can’t get enough of.
It keeps him wanting more.
It made him hooked.

Now it’s his natural high.
No wonder he falls deeper into addiction.

Such a sole power that keeps him going these days.

ayesha
12.13.08

Unreserved.

I forgot to tell you..

It was a fun game and
a funny game at the same time.

I enjoyed it.
I learned more things about you.
More truth about you were revealed.

But what I enjoyed more about it was..
I had the chance to let it out,
Some things that I’ve been hiding
or running from for a long time.

At some point, it made me feel better.

so, THANK YOU.

For you have shown me the real meaning of “unconditional”.
That’s also what your friendship means to me.



ayesha
12.11.08

Self-restraint.

I’m being swept up in a
circumstance that’s moving
so swiftly it’s making my head spin.

I’m feeling it too soon, not right.
So what else is new?
It happened before and no wonder
It’s happening again now.

But I don’t think I’m feeling completely out of control.
What feels right in the moment may not be the same
as what feels right in the long run..

Probably I need to take a deep breath and try to draw on every impulse.

There's truth in wine(?)

They say...

It’s true..

Sometimes the things that you can’t say are the ones that you mean the most.

How come the words that you utter when you’re drunk are what you really feel and think as what people say as well?

Hmmm… but there’s also a possiblity that what’s on your mind could also be a lie so you talk absolute crap.

And it’ll bite you in the butt one day.

Ouch.

Haiku - Unmask.

To be discreet is
Something that I’ve never learned
In my entire life.

***

I’m out of control
Like what I have always been.
So can you feel me?

***

Striving to keep it,
But could no longer hide it.
Blow the whistle on.

ayesha
12.15.08